Friday, June 3, 2011

My First Guest Blogger Yo!

Hey ya'll, I know that I haven't posted in forever because I'm an awful awful blogger that doesn't deserve your love and adoration but I have a completely valid excuse!! I've become unemployed and depressed, but thats okay since they make pills to fix that shit...the depression, I don't think they make pills to fix unemployment..but that would be awesome!

Anywho, my bestest friend Michelle has agreed to to a blog post for me, about her really fucked up boyfriend, who btw I hate with a fiery passion but that's beside the point. Without further ado...

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Hello my name is Michelle and I have a rather whiny, selfish, egotistical boyfriend.  I know that's not uncommon, but I'm writing this article to both entertain the masses, make other people feel better about themselves and perhaps relieve some of my stress after dealing with this shit for the past couple of years. :)  
I'll start out with saying that I am well aware that I am NOT the perfect girlfriend.  I try to pretend like I am at times but I know who and what I am, so please don't get the wrong idea, I'm just here to share a funny story or two.

Let me start off with something that happened between us tonight, this is an AIM conversation we just had.  Joel is my boyfriend, obviously. 

 joel:i always wanted
    a nice car
    and you 
    like a typical "ball n chain"
    have to ruin my dreams
    step on them
    and hold them in front of my face
    and laugh at me
    then chuck it out the window
    "noooo, my dreams..."

ME:   :q nah, i just think it was a silly thing for you to do after complaining how expensive med school will be and how much you'll be in debt, but watevs, you'll do what you want haha

 joel: OK

 ME : you'll be tied down by money problems throughout your school years, but me..i'll be cool through my shrewd decisions with saving money so that when i finally get hired into a game company, anna and i will be living smoothhhhhh~

 joel :ILL LIVE LIKE A POOR GUY
    AND NEVER DO ANYTHING I WANT IN MY LIFE
    AND WORK ALL THE TIME

 ME: calm down boo.

 joel:AND PUMP OUT MONEY FOR YOU IN THE FUTURE
    HAPPY?

 Me: your money won't be going anywhere except to debt payments LULULULULULULUL sup?
    but whatevers, it's all good.

 joel: o yeah

 joel: cause i definetly will get a job that pays 300k a year to cover my 250k debt for life

 Me:   what happened to that depression you had from reading that little article about med school?
    you were all weepy and mopey over that shit

 joel: ok
    well
    enough
    stop talking to me 

 Me:   'oohhh i'm gonna be an old man by the same i've finished school and won't have done anything in my life'

 joel:   insensitive fuck

 Me:   xD

 joel:   go away

 Me:   gahd joel i'm just messing with you

 joel:   no
    go away
    im really upset now

 Me: get that cock out of your ass please

 joel:   nothing has been going my way

 Me :  :c oki oki i sorry

 joel:and now you are just talking all the shit you want
no
stop fucking talking  to me right now

 Me :oki

 joel:i dont want to even see your msgs
fuck i dont even want to see you online
ill talk to you when i feel better

Let me explain what's going on here, I'm sure a few of you are like 'wtf?'.  Joel and I no longer live together.  I live in my own apartment and he's living with his parents going to a community college in Los Angeles.  He's been collecting on his GI Bill, making about 2.5k a month.  He saved up 12k for a down payment and went a bought a beautiful 2011 ford mustang.  Sweet right?  
Joel and I have a 2 year old daughter together.  I'm not starting school till this fall.  I just bought a 95 jeep grand cherokee for 1.4k. I moved into my own apartment about a month after that after having lived with my mom, my dad, and finally my best friend.  I make 387 dollars a week on unemployment.  Joel has only once helped with providing for our daughter, and only then after complaining that I shouldn't have to rely on him for money and then proceeded to hang it over my head, which he still does to this day.
His mustang costs about 30k.
That conversation started off with my asking how his trip to the dentist went.  He broke a tooth very badly and said it was going to cost around 2.7k to fix and he just used up all of his money and still has installments to make on it.  I casually said that he'd have more money if he didn't buy that car, or maybe sold it.  If some of you aren't familiar with chatting over the internet, it's pretty obvious that I'm trying to be funny and light-hearted in that conversation, it's how I usually talk to him when we're in a good mood together. 
But yeah, this is my relationship with my boyfriend.  I think the copied aim conversation sums it up pretty well.  But just in case some people are still skeptical I have screenshots of a converation I had with him a while back of World of Warcraft.  In it, I'm telling him that I just wish he'd ask me to transfer my character to his realm so we could play together and be closer while living apart.
(this might be a tad confusing, but the [BN:to] messages are me talking and the [BN:from] messages are him.)
1. Amazing..  He is such an ass
2.He should be set on fire Lets hunt this mofo down!  
So yeah..that's about it.  I could probably write a book about the first two years of our relationship.  It's quite interesting, if you defined interesting as a long, drawn out and depressing parade of failure and heart ache.


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Note: The names the links were totally my doing, I really hate him.

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